As the nights begin to draw in, there’s nothing our bellies crave more than some proper carbolicious grub.
Autumn is a time for pure unadulterated gluttony – at least, it is in my household – a time to put on a few pounds of extra timber to keep you snug and warm throughout cosy season, judgment be damned. What better way to fuel these foodie fancies than a great big steaming plate of pie? Even better, why not whack that pie in a barm and go at it with your bare hands?
If this, my friend, sounds like a stroke of genius the likes of which you’ve never heard before, Pieminister on Duncan Street has you covered.
Now, I like a pie as much as the next sane person, but when it’s gloomy outside and candlelit within, that’s when this kind of food really calls to me. I have to admit, bizarre as it is to sit in a restaurant as an adult wearing a bib, there’s something rather freeing about it. As we perch at our table in the Leeds branch, grinning away like we are waiting for mother to give us a well-earned feed, all societal norms effortlessly melt away and I myself feel rather giddy with the novelty of it.
If you haven’t heard already, “The Brassic” is the new offering from pie giant Pieminister, who despite their success across the UK still pride themselves on being an independent and family-run affair. Keen purveyors of that most hearty of British foods, they originated in Bristol in 2003 and now enjoy national acclaim – as well as more Great Taste awards than you can shake a stick at.
What is The Brassic, I hear you ask?
It is not, as the name might suggest, a dinosaur brought back to life in manner of Jurassic Park, but rather a jaw-dropping compilation of intimidatingly large food items; the star of the show being (as the observant amongst you may have guessed) pie.
Fit for gargantuan appetites only, we look on in quiet awe as the steaming beast is brought over to the table by our beaming waiter, Lucas. There is a cheeky, knowing twinkle in his eye as he rests it on the table with tender care, clearly relieved The Brassic has managed to stay upright.
Pieminister’s take on a Wigan Kebab or Pie Barm, The Brassic is a Lancashire delicacy that features pie – inside a roll (or barm cake) topped with mushy peas, cheese and crispy onions, plus great puddles of gravy which you can use to pour on, dip in, backstroke across, whatever tickles your fancy. Needless to say, there is nothing elegant about this dish – emphasised by the fact that it comes with a bib – but it is wholly and entirely delicious.
Our order was two-fold: The classic “Moo” Brassic, and the Goat Cheese and Sweet Potato Filo Pie. The latter is Pieminister’s lighter option and for the sake of our health and hearts we thought it would be both sane and wise to compare two polar opposites on the menu.
Whilst both dishes looked extremely devourable, the pull of the Brassic couldn’t be ignored and thus demanded our immediate attention. We gave it a swift, sharp bash on its lid to make it more grabbable, and then I took my first bite. The combination of tender British beef steak and craft ale is a classic for a reason – it just works. As for the way it is served, the jury is still out on that one. What I will say, is that there’s something beautifully feral about wrestling to get your dinner in your mouth. As gluttonous gravy seeped down my elbows, dignity well and truly behind me, I thanked my lucky stars this wasn’t a first date.
The filo pie was also delightfully flavourful, the tangy goat’s cheese marrying nicely with the red onion and spinach filling – while the sweet potato gave that hearty element that every good pie requires. The Brassic was a hard act to follow, but the filo pies are an excellent option if you fancy a treat but your body is simultaneously aching for a dose of goodness. Accompanied by a fresh tzatziki and a tenderstem broccoli and pea side, it served as a colourful and tongue in cheek opposite to The Brassic – like seeing an angel and the devil sharing a dinner table.
Sweet Treats
If your sweet tooth is anything like mine, you’ll be eyeing up the desserts before you’ve even ordered your main. And Pieminster have some cosy options fitting for the season: from the Raspberry Almond and Toffee Apple Crumble Pots served with custard cream, to the classic Sticky Toffee Pud. If you have just devoured two plates of pie, however, and are in the market for a (slightly) lighter treat – the Mud Pie Sundae is the way to go. Think decadently sweet chocolate ice cream with chocolate and caramel sauce – with a hefty brownie on top. Perfect for sharing.
Back to Brassics.
Whilst the filo pie requires no detailed explanation, if you are tempted to nip down for a pie balm this autumn, Pieminister boss Jon Simon has offered some advice: “Give it a good thump on top before eating, to break the pie up a bit and meld the peas, cheese and crispy onions together. Then grasp the whole thing tight and dip it in your gravy boat. You have to trust the process – it’s a bit chaotic, but that’s Brassic.” The whole wacky idea is a collaboration, with the introduction of the “Brassic” celebrating an epic close to an award-winning Sky Original Comedy of the same name. It is available as a limited edition set meal which lets the diner select a pie of their choosing from the usual line-up.
Is it scrummy? Yes. Is it going to get the approval of your GP? Certainly not. But if yours is anything like mine, you won’t be able to get an appointment before you’re 90 anyway.
From Hawley to Leeds, the Brassic is available on the Pieminister menu until the 11 th November. You can book a table on the official website here.
Photography by Amy Mortin.
